tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27910305340964676762024-03-05T05:46:52.262-08:00The Old Adventures of the New KristineTracihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15915918035511447295noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2791030534096467676.post-33552333337700519722017-08-14T19:24:00.000-07:002017-08-14T19:42:37.274-07:00White supremacy has stolen our soulAfter being indoctrinated online into the world of white supremacy and inspired by a racist hate group, Dylann Roof told friends he wanted to start a “race war.” Someone had to take “drastic action” to take back America from “stupid and violent” African Americans, he wrote.<br />
<br />
On June 17, 2015, Dylann Roof attended a Bible study meeting at the historic Emanuel A.M.E. Church in Charleston, South Carolina and murdered nine people, all of them black.<br />
<br />
The act of terror shocked America with its chilling brutality. But Roof did not spark the race war he and others wanted. Far from it.<br />
<br />
Instead, when photos surfaced depicting the 21-year-old white supremacist with theConfederate battle flag —including one in which he held the flag in one hand and a gun in the other —Roof ignited something else entirely. A grassroots movement to remove the flag from public spaces. In what seemed like an instant, the South’s 150-year idolatry of the Confederacy was shaken. Public officials responded to the national mourning and outcry by removing prominent public displays of its most recognizable symbol.<br />
<br />
The Confederate flag's defenders claim it is a flag of "heritage, not hate". The heritage of white supremacy was not so much birthed by hate as by the impulse toward theft. The theft of humans, created in the image of God to be treated as and sold as property.<br />
<br />
The driver of the car that murdered Heather Heyer in cold blood stole from a Mother and Father their daughter. He robbed them of someone that is irreplaceable. He stole from friends, a friend. Irreplaceable. The theft of white supremacy demands justice. The theft of white supremacy has stolen the gospel of Jesus Christ and perverted it into something evil, and ugly, and hateful.<br />
<br />
I urge all Christians of conscience to call this out for what it is. White supremacy is theft. It's time we reclaim the gospel.Tracihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15915918035511447295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2791030534096467676.post-31253987082156676432017-06-11T16:26:00.001-07:002017-07-25T00:22:04.541-07:00We as Christians have failed in our calling<table align="center" border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="1" class="tborder" id="post48470244" style="width: 100%px;"><tbody>
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I look around and see so much hate and division in our world, and outright bigotry toward others. I see the very same thing coming from many Christians, and their preachers. We as a collective have failed our highest calling, to love unconditionally, even sacrificially. To help the oppressed, to help the poor, and the foreigner among us. <br />
<br />
God never implied that we should check their papers to make sure they were 'legal', He said take care of them without exception, regardless of their legal status. <br />
<br />
To love the unlovable. To heal the broken. To turn prayer for others into action here and now. <br />
<br />
So many of our leaders hold up a thrice married philanderer, someone who bragged about being able to grab a woman by the genitals, whether he did it or not is irrelevant, and say he's a "good Christian"; and the world looks on these and same Christian leaders wonder why people are fleeing the church in droves. <br />
<br />
It's not because of liberal culture, or the media, or any such thing. It's because people no longer see Christ in us. Christian of conscience and courage, it's past time to reclaim Christianity. It's time we acknowledge that Christ really meant what He said in His sermon on the mount, and in so many other places, that He really meant that we will be known by how we love others, and how we serve others. <br />
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I'll end with a quote from Rod Serling<br />
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<tr><td class="alt2" style="border: 1px inset;">It's simply a national acknowledgement that in any kind of priority, the needs of human beings must come first. Poverty is here and now. Hunger is here and now. Racial tension is here and now. Pollution is here and now. These are the things that scream for a response. And if we don't listen to that scream - and if we don't respond to it - we may well wind up sitting amidst our own rubble, looking for the truck that hit us - or the bomb that pulverized us. Get the license number of whatever it was that destroyed the dream. And I think we will find that the vehicle was registered in our own name. </td></tr>
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<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike><br />Tracihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15915918035511447295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2791030534096467676.post-18971035029365377052017-05-25T15:29:00.001-07:002017-05-25T15:29:43.374-07:00This is war.I enjoyed at one time educating people on what it means to be trans, to challenge their preconceived notions, and erase stereotypes. But it's becoming exhausting, and I'm so tired. <br />
<br />I shouldn't have to fight for the right to be able to use a public restroom without threat of harm or arrest. I shouldn't have to defend myself and others having basic human rights. I shouldn't have to explain why I need surgery to fix my body, why it's medically necessary for me to move forward with my life. I shouldn't have to explain that I'm not mentally screwed up or delusional. I shouldn't have to explain the difference between gender reassignment surgery and female genital mutilation. I shouldn't have to dispel this "dude in a dress" bullshit day after day after day after day. I shouldn't have to defend my relationship with Christ from people who say I can't be Christian and transgender. I should be able to attend a Bible study for women, I should never be told I'm not woman enough. I used to go into these things with an open heart. But now it's a war every day and I'm furious, and I'm so full of anger and pain I'm shaking as I type. This is so beyond unfair. This is unjust. But I won't stop fighting. I don't have a choice. Tracihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15915918035511447295noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2791030534096467676.post-88002628013870061622017-05-06T22:09:00.000-07:002017-05-06T22:09:04.775-07:00Crazy Jackass on Twitter<br />
First I need to apologize for the language, but I am so pissed right now. I think I've got like one reader left, so hi Sweet One <3<br />
<br />
I got the steaming pile of shit below off Twitter.<br />
<br />
Anyone who reads this knows I'm not supportive of Trump at all, as evidenced by other posts on the subject. An early church historian called Nero a noxious wild beast. I think that applies to Trump as well, but his assassination would throw the US into crisis, and I would be devastated. Not because I like Trump, but because the President of the country I love so much was murdered. To paraphrase Augustine "America is a whore, but she's still my mother." <br />
<br />
Another reason I hate this Tweet, is because Conservatives will see this, and be all like "typical liberal, violent and crazy" and I'll be lumped in with this dick head. Thanks a lot, asshole. <br />
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I just realized he sent that to Speaker Ryan too. Great. Psychotic <i>and</i> stupid.<br />
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I really don't know whether to laugh or cry.<br />
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<br />Tracihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15915918035511447295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2791030534096467676.post-35087072196659270282016-10-10T01:02:00.000-07:002016-10-10T01:02:24.736-07:00I am Jack's rampant hypocrisyI'm probably going to lose some of the two readers I have, but this is important for me to say. I'm not excusing Donald Trump's words or behavior toward women. Please understand I'm eating buckets full of pride with this post, this isn't something I'm very happy about, and I'm still not voting for him.<br />
<br />
Donald Trump has said some horrible things about women, and has sexually assaulted some. I initially was angry, and hurt, because for all of his shortcomings I do respect him. I wish he wasn't such a lecherous jackass, but you take the good with the bad.<br />
<br />
I was taken to the woodshed by God for not forgiving him. Emotionally, it was excruciatingly painful for me. I cried, I threw a fit, but in the end, I realized that I fall far short of God's best for me multiple times a minute every day. And I ask God to forgive me and try to do better. But what right do I have to ask for forgiveness, if I have no forgiveness for others? So I got smacked in the face with my own hypocrisy and self-righteousness. Two things I didn't realize were there, and that revelation made me hate myself.<br />
<br />
So, DJ, if you ever read this, I'm sorry for holding forgiveness from you, while asking it for myself. I do forgive you, and I do love you. Let's both try harder to be better people. Tracihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15915918035511447295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2791030534096467676.post-86254335403975857422016-10-04T01:27:00.000-07:002016-10-04T01:27:10.664-07:00Letter to Arec BarrwinAlec,<br />
<br />
I'm a transsexual. I get all kinds of shit flung at me, almost daily, so I understand how something like what the New Yorker said could hurt. It sucks when people talk trash about you, especuially if it isn't true. I deal with criticism by proving my detractors wrong , for example, those like me are labeled 'perverts', I live a celibate and single life to prove them wrong. I live above criticism. I know that for the most part so do you (the cocksucker thing was a bit much, but we all snap, I totally get it), so don't let what they (anyone) say hurt you. You're an awesome hubby and Daddy, and you've been knocked down several times in your career, but you always get back up. So get up, Alec. Your fans (including me) have and always will love you. We've got your back. Fuck the New Yorker. Prove them wrong.<br />
<br />
All the Best,<br />
<br />
Traci KristineTracihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15915918035511447295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2791030534096467676.post-80991988929392474942016-08-11T08:57:00.002-07:002016-08-11T13:20:13.228-07:00Dear PastorI don't know your name. I'm the girl whose family you took me from. You convinced them that the best thing to do was distance themselves from me. I don't think you fully appreciate what you have done to not just me, but my family. Growing up I was very close to them. Family reunions and gatherings were the highlights of my year. I couldn't wait to see my Grandparents, uncles and cousins. And when I grew older, my parents, sisters and nephews. I have a niece that I've never seen. I love them all, so much that it causes me physical pain as well as emotional. The pain is more than I can bear sometimes. I have gender dysphoria, and for that you have condemned me to life without that which means most to me. This is something that I was born with. Something confirmed by two medical doctors, and a licensed therapist. I think of my family every day, several times a day. And I cry. Because I know that with the exception of my Mother, I may never see them again, much less share a meal over a holiday. I'm struggling so hard with forgiving you. I'm struggling even more with loving you as I should, I really want to, but I'm not there yet. I ask you, in the name of Christ to give me my family back. You can end this. Please. I'm begging you. Please stop this. Tracihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15915918035511447295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2791030534096467676.post-90382892768873940092015-11-12T05:12:00.000-08:002015-11-12T05:12:32.135-08:00What I learned from atheists. One of my writings that somehow slipped into the ether, and reappeared :)<br />
<br />
Being a Christian is hard, not necessarily doing good, but doing the right thing. It's hard, and it will put up a fight, and you have to fight for it if you truly want it. Letting go of long held personal beliefs that really have little to no basis in scripture is frightening to a lot of people, but this has to be done. Letting go of false teachings, is as important as dying to self.<br />
<br />I recently opened a dialog with a couple of atheists, and these are wonderful, really funny guys. Also very intelligent, which I dig on big time. I told them that a lot of the views fundamentalist Christians hold are false and have no basis in scripture, some are downright hateful. I used to have fundamentalist views, passed down to me from my Mother. Thank God I have a Mother who loved me enough to bring me to church, even though I had to walk away from church to find Christ.<br />
<br />I wanted to talk to these guys, to apologize for things Christians said to them on their show, that were full of hatefulness and judging condemnation, and there was no love in them. As a Christian, we have to be able and willing to cross the battlefield of ideological lines to truly meet people where they are. That is really hard to do when you have long held beliefs about certain groups of people. Like atheists. But I wanted to ask them for forgiveness, for my own false beliefs, and for the hate they receive from callers on their show. To tell these guys that I was sorry that they've been spoken that way to by such hateful people, people who call themselves Christian, but didn't seem Christ-like at all.<br />
<br />The response I got was encouraging, and heart warming, and I'm so glad that I took that step. Even though I believe in God and they don't, we agreed that some people are very hateful, and hide behind Christ while they hurl that hate at others. That's wrong, and I wish it would stop. Stopping that has to start with Christians though.<br />
<br />Do I still believe (or did I ever?) those things I was taught about atheists? NO!! These are wonderful people, the ones I talked to. Full of forgiveness. They said that these people being hateful didn't bother them, and that they accepted my apology, even though they thought it was unnecessary.<br />
<br />If you want to be a Christian, it's going to fight you, and challenge you. If you want to be a Christian, you have to have radical compassion, and unconditional non-judgmental love for others. You have to meet people where they are and love them where they are, and expect nothing in return. You have to forgive blindly.<br />
<br />That's another thing, forgiving people that say things that deeply hurt you is hard, this is something I'm fighting for very hard right now. I don't want to be angry when they tell me that being transgendered is sinful. I don't want to lash out when they tell me I'm going to Hell because of the way I was born. I don't want to lash out when people say people like me make them want to vomit. I don't want to be angry when people want to hate on me, bully me, or even possibly harm me physically. I've already been wounded deeply by the church emotionally, I don't want to be wounded physically. Even more though, I don't want to hate them, or be angry when or if they do. I want to understand them. I want to understand why they do these things. And I want to walk across that battlefield, open my arms wide and hold them, and tell them I love them. <br /><br />
Because it's true.<br />
<br />Tracihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15915918035511447295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2791030534096467676.post-1360762386072652262015-11-06T03:28:00.000-08:002015-11-09T07:53:42.301-08:00"We will not waver; we will not tire; we will not falter, and we will not fail."America’s potential, said Carly Fiorina, is being “crushed.”
America’s military, said Marco Rubio, is being “eviscerated.” Working
people, said Mike Huckabee, are “taking a gut punch.” The idea of
America, said Bobby Jindal, is “slipping away.”<br />
Donald Trump, as usual, went even further: “We don’t have a country.”<br />
From a Politico article<br />
<div class="text_exposed_show">
================================<br />
I'm going to quote Tom Cruise. No, I'm not going to jump up and down
on my couch and scream about how much I love America. Though I bet that
would make a classic Vine. No, this one is from "Interview With A
Vampire", where he says "I think there's life in the old girl yet!"<br />
<br />
We have tough decisions. We need intelligent, hopeful people to make
these decisions. I'm not saying that Carly Fiorina, and the others
aren't intelligent. I can't speak on that, but they've lost hope. Which
is frightening to me, because for a long time hope was the only thing
keeping me alive. I see white washed tombs and I can't vote for that.<br />
<br />
When I think of our military, I don't see it as eviscerated. I see the
most fearsome group of men and women to ever march onto a battlefield.
I'm not pro-war, very much against it. But I love these men and women
who are courageous enough to fight for their loved ones, and for me, and for
those of us who can't fight for ourselves.<br />
<br />
When I see the
"working man" I see my step-dad. A strong, proud American worker, who
can do anything. He is beyond awesome. While I'm very adept with computers; I am struck jaw-droppingly dumb at the things he can do. He can build anything. He can fix anything. I think
of an old friend who drives a semi delivering goods across our country. I
see my Uncle Keith, a farmer. I see my sister Laura, and her husband
Jeremy. I see my Dad, once a professional pilot, now he runs a
successful computer repair business. I see my friend Emily, a successful
writer. Everyone around me, while we may struggle, we are thriving. I
don't see people who are beaten. Or "gut punched", I see people living
their dreams. The dreams may differ from what they once were, but we are
still living them.<br />
<br />
America isn't an idea, Governor Jindal. She
is an entity. She is alive, her heart pumping fiercely, her eyes shining
brightly. As long as there are Americans with hope of much better times
to come, America will not fall. We might limp along for a time. But
America will not fall.<br />
<br />
We have problems. A lot of social issues,
massive poverty, attacks on women's health programs and initiatives.
We're still fighting against racism, homophobia, transphobia. So many
things....but if we don't lose sight of our goal. If we remember the
phrase "all men are created equal"; we can't fail.</div>
Tracihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15915918035511447295noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2791030534096467676.post-10895889647400604282015-11-05T04:35:00.002-08:002015-11-05T04:35:38.609-08:00You might be an Evangelical if...This list is taken from an article on Patheos, by Fred Clark.<br />
Link to original article is to be found by <a href="http://www.patheos.com/blogs/slacktivist/2011/08/05/you-might-be-an-evangelical/" target="_blank">clicking right here! Yes, these words, you fool :P</a><br />
<br />
If your idea of a trip to the Caribbean involves building new outhouses for a missionary school, then you might be an evangelical.<br /><br />If you feel guilty for not keeping up with your quiet time, then you might be an evangelical.<br /><br />If you have strong opinions about when, precisely, Amy Grant “sold out,” then you might be an evangelical.<br /><br />If the first time you saw your uncle’s shot-glass collection, you wondered where he got all those fancy communion cups, then …<br /><br />If the first time you saw your uncle’s shot-glass collection, you wondered where he got all those fancy communion cups, then …<br /><br />If you’ve never been skiing without rededicating your life to Christ at a bonfire afterwards, then …<br /><br />If you’ve lost track of the number of “re-s” you need to add before “re-re-rededicate your life to Christ,” then …<br /><br />If your favorite painters are Thomas Kinkade and Warner Sallman, then …<br /><br />If you never watched “Highway to Heaven,” not because it was too preachy, but because it aired on Wednesday nights, then …<br /><br />If you knew that “Wednesday nights” in the previous joke was a reference to prayer meeting, then …<br /><br />If you’ve ever tried to calculate the size of a tip in a restaurant based on how it would influence the waitress’s receptivity to the gospel tract you left with it, then …<br /><br />“I’ve got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart.” If you just shouted, “Where?” then …<br /><br />If you’ve ever seriously discussed whether using tabs constitutes cheating at Sword Drills, then …<br /><br />If your answer to the question “What Would Jesus Do?” is “He would wear a T-shirt that says, ‘WWJD?’” then …<br /><br />If you’ve ever been to a pot-luck dinner featuring more than three varieties of Jell-o salad with shaved carrots and mini-marshmallows, then …<br /><br />If you’ve ever played the tambourine while wearing a tie, then …<br /><br />If your gaydar is so bad that you think your choir director just needs to meet the right godly woman, then …<br /><br />If you can’t look at Kente cloth without thinking what those colors stand for in The Wordless Book, then …<br /><br />If you’ve ever informed someone you’ve just met that they deserve to suffer in Hell for eternity, and you said this without a trace of anger, then …<br /><br />If the last rock concert you went to included an altar call, then …<br /><br />If you own any clothing or accessories that you regard as “a witnessing tool,” then …<br /><br />If you think the phrase “a witnessing tool” refers to something that’s good to have rather than someone it’s bad to be, then …<br /><br />If praying in public makes you talk like a 17th-century Quaker, then …<br /><br />If two acoustic guitars and a Yamaha DX7 keyboard are your idea of a “rock band,” then …<br /><br />If the only High Church figure you don’t regard with suspicion is Bishop Ussher, then <br /><br />If your idea of communion wine is made by Welch’s, then …<br /><br />If you know what burning vinyl smells like, then …<br /><br />If your boss tells you you’re going to have to go on furlough and your first thought is that you’ll need to prepare a slideshow for the Sunday evening service, then …<br /><br />If a sentence beginning “Lord, we just, Lord, want to thank you Lord, for just, Lord, just …” doesn’t strike you as either atrocious grammar or a speech impediment, then …<br /><br />If you’ve ever thought of TMZ as kind of like a prayer list for Hollywood starlets, then <br /><br />If the words “submissive” and “head” make you think of gender, but not of sex, then …<br /><br />If you think saying grace loudly is a good way to witness at The Olive Garden, then …<br /><br />If you’ve ever discussed whether The Flintstones was set before or after Noah’s flood, then …<br /><br />If your fantasy football team was selected based on the personal testimony of the players, then …Tracihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15915918035511447295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2791030534096467676.post-85960632754336986462015-11-04T01:41:00.003-08:002020-11-09T04:43:48.552-08:00Love The Way You Lie (rewritten)I can't really tell you what it is<br />I can only tell you what it feels like<br />Like I've got a lump in my windpipe<br />It's like I can't breathe when I see atrocities<br />Committed against those that are like me<br />The anger rises like a sunrise<br />All I can do is cry<br />The pain inside fueling me to new heights<br />I have to do something, but what can I do<br />I can do nothing on my own, it has to be me and you.<br /><br />Just gonna stand there and watch me burn<br />It's alright, I like the way it hurts.<br />Just gonna stand there and hear me cry<br />It's alright, I love the way you lie<br />I love the way you lie. <br /><br />Have you looked out across the sea of humanity<br />and see people supposed to be guided by love doing these things<br />and saying these words that are so hurtful<br />Sometimes I feel like I've been beaten black, blue and purple<br />Like a hematoma of the soul and Im in a coma<br />and I can't wake but I'm aware of the commotion<br />and all the hate and furor that surrounds it<br />I don't know how to stop it, and I can't<br />We have to stop it.<br />I can't but you and I can.<br /><br />Just gonna stand there and watch me burn<br />It's alright, I like the way it hurts.<br />Just gonna stand there and hear me cry<br />It's alright, I love the way you lie<br />I love the way you lie. <br /><br />I can't scream loud enough to make you listen<br />it's like you've got some kind of deafness<br />Keeping you from hearing my petition<br />I'm in so much pain but you can't see<br />you just keep throwing all your hate at me<br />and those like me, not out of spite<br />but because you think you're right<br />you think your truth is the only truth to listen to<br />and it doesn't matter how much pain you put me through<br />or how many die or are imprisoned<br />as long as you're right that's your sole concern<br />but look at me when you say and do those things<br />that hurt and stab and cut and scrape<br />look in my eyes as you watch me die, <br />watch the tears falling from my eyes when i ask why<br /><br />Just gonna stand there and watch me burn<br />It's alright, I like the way it hurts.<br />Just gonna stand there and hear me cry<br />It's alright, I love the way you lie<br />I love the way you lie. Tracihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15915918035511447295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2791030534096467676.post-86800727286893955972015-10-14T05:12:00.002-07:002017-02-17T22:06:59.311-08:00Is Dick Cheney anything like Darth Sidious? (rant...haha)No. A million times no. And I hate the comparison, usually made by someone who may have seen Star Wars, but doesn't understand it/hasn't read any of the EU novels nor understands Palpatine/Sidous' motivations. Here are the biggest differences:<br />
<br />
Sidious, on the one hand, betrayed and murdered his Master, Darth Plagueis. Sidious didn't care about money, he wasn't greedy, and he was well beyond asshole by the time most were first introduced to him in The Phantom Menace. He was so consumed with power, and the lust for more power, that it absolutely corrupted him. He was evil beyond reason. He actually convinced Darth Vader to kill his own son. THAT is Darth Sidious. . Dick Cheney is a greedy asshole, but he doesn't have the balls to go that far, which is why the comparison fails.<br />
Dick Cheney is just a greedy asshole, nothing more. He's not evil,
just a greedy asshole. Cheney didn't, and wouldn't murder Bush to become
President. Darth Sidious would convince Congress to elect him Dictator,
then murder Bush, then have everyone in Congress killed, along with all 9
Supreme Court Justices. <br />
<br />
<br />
If you think you have to attach Cheney to the Sith, or make him Sith like, just don't ok?<br />
<br />
Comparison to Darth Vader: A MILLION TIMES NO!!!<br />
<br />
Darth Vader fell to the Dark Side because he loved Padme so much, he would do anything for her, including betraying the Jedi Order. He wasn't evil. He was tempted to turn to the Dark Side, because he thought he could save Padme. After he turned, he flew into a rage because Padme died. He fed on that rage, which made him even more full of rage. <br />
<br />Dick Cheney loves money. And himself. And war, not because he likes killing, or others killing for him; but because he loves money. He isn't evil either, just a greedy bastard. <br />
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GRRRR... People, read the books!! Tracihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15915918035511447295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2791030534096467676.post-11329177093608933362015-05-18T12:22:00.000-07:002015-05-18T12:22:07.266-07:00Abortions and homeless veterans. That's a hell of a title, isn't it? What could those two things possibly have to do with one another? Not much, on it's face, but I've been thinking. Congressional Republicans, and some Democrats have had it out for abortion for a long time. Recently they've been at it again. I don't think I've seen one bill proposed this session to even lift a finger to help homeless veterans. These people were and are ready, willing and able to give the ultimate sacrifice for our country's interest. I'm not pro-war, I think it's the most anti-survivalist endeavor we humans have ever undertaken. I do support the men and women who volunteer to run....no, sprint towards danger for those of us who cannot. I don't like to put people on a pedestal, but these people deserve to be there. In one of the richest nations on earth this is how we treat our homeless veterans. "Thanks for your selflessness, and your service, now go live in a box." <br />
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Something needs to change. Our priorities are so messed up on this issue. We are bound and determined to make abortion as hard to get as possible, if not illegal, while ignoring the plight of our veterans who come home broken and hurting.<br />
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#VeteransLivesMatter. Tracihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15915918035511447295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2791030534096467676.post-83734472712601157082015-05-01T07:40:00.001-07:002015-05-01T07:40:09.965-07:00Random Act of Kindness at BKSo I went out shopping with the roomie last night, and nothing seemed to go right, it took several attempts to get the register at Wal*Mart™, and the roomie went to several different places to find a pre-paid card for his cell phone, and no one seemed to have them, so it was a pretty annoying night. We get to BK and the guy in the drive thru ran my card several times and it wouldn't read, so the guy paid for our food and told us to pay him back later. That has never happened to me. I love that guy. Time to go to the bank and get a new card haha. Tracihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15915918035511447295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2791030534096467676.post-56966576197779768212015-04-16T08:02:00.003-07:002015-04-16T08:02:56.000-07:00It's a pig with weird eyes!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOx3D8fpHp_4oApwxQNdFfbDQPVvPUjLzEjuYvq-ftx4Hm1RF4cbBnXXPizOY_-1cC00EAXoMdvaTmzJFBqFNmbrFqjUPGEF4Ffd5svkGIRNxU8jHUCHfH8ZC_FEITCXvLw4jm7Sfyn3tg/s1600/2015-04-15_10.37.16.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOx3D8fpHp_4oApwxQNdFfbDQPVvPUjLzEjuYvq-ftx4Hm1RF4cbBnXXPizOY_-1cC00EAXoMdvaTmzJFBqFNmbrFqjUPGEF4Ffd5svkGIRNxU8jHUCHfH8ZC_FEITCXvLw4jm7Sfyn3tg/s1600/2015-04-15_10.37.16.png" height="186" width="320" /></a></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
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My eyes are like this so I can see predators coming from any direction!</blockquote>
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<br />Tracihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15915918035511447295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2791030534096467676.post-55976282758584247432015-04-05T19:57:00.000-07:002015-04-05T19:57:54.404-07:00Coming Out[This is a "reprint"; originally written by Jennifer Reitz. I'm reposting it here, because it is relevant to my life. The original is here: <a href="http://www.transsexual.org/Out.html" target="_blank">Coming Out</a>]<br />
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Coming Out.<br />
<br />In which is explained some of the reasons anyone would want - or need - to come out of the closet.<br /><br /><br /> "Why do you have to tell anyone about whether or not you are gay" is a question put to many homosexuals "Can't you just keep your mouth shut - nobody would even be able to tell you were queer! Why rub our noses in what you do in bed?"<br /><br /> My mother once asked me "Why can't you just be Gay? then nobody would have to even know!"<br /><br /> Why would anyone ever need to come out, to reveal that they were Queer, whether being Gay, or even Gender Queer, such as the transsexual? Why not stay in the closet, and avoid any difficulty? Why tell? Why not just keep silent?<br />
<br /> Let me explain why.<br /><br /> The true, heartfelt value of Coming Out is not a lot of things that many people seem to think it is. At the deepest level, Coming Out is not about being part of a community of other queers, it is not about political change or theory, it is not about rubbing anyone's nose in metaphoric do-do.<br /><br /> Coming Out is a matter of personal validation.<br /><br /> Our culture still puts a lot of energy into hatred and damnation of difference in general, and being queer in particular. From grade school on, the constant use of terms like 'fag' and 'lesbo' and 'sex change' as curses and disparagement inflicts and instills a deep set shame in almost everyone. This subtle and pervasive bigotry is quickly escalated to actual violence or discrimination that occurs on a daily basis that can affect almost every aspect of life.<br /><br /> Within such a toxic environment of both overt and covert condemnation, the queer individual is constantly under psychological and emotional attack.<br /><br /> This attack easily - and early in life - becomes internalized to varying degrees. Not only is the queer individual buffeted by storms of hatred outside, but soon becomes infected with hatred from the inside. Self worth becomes replaced with varying degrees of shame and even self loathing. Inevitably this leads to suffering, and even self destruction.<br /><br /> A vicious circle is created, one that derives from cultural pressure, and is sustained by internal judgment. The queer person hides to avoid pain and shame. The pain and shame become internalized as the cultural messages that cause it become part of the individual. Constant hiding implies the need to hide, and that need is based on the fear of rejection and harm. The individual, alone against society, finds it difficult to entirely reject the basis of the hatred of so many, and a resulting self condemnation abets the impulse to hide. In turn, the act of hiding reinforces the internalized self condemnation, and so it goes, round and round.<br /><br /> To Come Out, is to stop hiding, and to break that vicious circle of self loathing.<br /><br /> We live in a culture focused on family and friends, on human interaction. The basis of most everyday communication is about our lives and our relationships. The closeted individual must either lie about their lives, or must fall silent and otherwise avoid basic human communication.<br /><br /> Over time, this causes multiple levels of suffering. To feel unable to express the joy of a happy day with a loved one, or to tell a funny story about one's life, or to share wisdom gained, is to be made mute. Such self censorship destroys the soul, and leads to withdrawal and depression.<br /><br /> When a person dares to Come Out, it is not about broadcasting the wonders of being gay, or of being transgendered, it is simply making a stand against the constant minimization and obliteration of their existence. To be Out is to claim the basic human feelings of dignity, self worth and the freedom to speak, to share, to be. The ability to communicate about one's own life in an honest and real manner, devoid of lies or subterfuge, without fear of discovery or embarrassment, just like any other person, is the deepest reason to Come Out.<br /><br /> The reason this site exists is because your author decided she was sick of forever being mute. The pain of having to fall silent, to hide, to change a subject to avoid accidental discovery, the constant terror that anyone should find out my awful secret, became too much to bear. I was living like a phantom, hiding invisibly in the shadows and margins of society.<br /><br /> Basic to that behavior, is the concept that my 'secret' was in fact 'awful'. Why? Why should it be so awful to be a transsexual? Why should it be so embarrassing, so shameful?<br /><br /> It is true that much of our society has a serious problem with the condition. There are those who feel fatal levels of hatred toward transsexuality, who care nothing about understanding it, or the suffering of its victims. There are narrow souls that refuse to accept the validity of the plight of the transsexual, or who would just as soon see all transsexuals dead.<br /><br /> There are some potential nasty consequences for the public transsexual, just as there is for the public queer of any stripe.<br /><br /> But perhaps even more so for the transgendered, because the issue of gender is so important to people. Gender is part of self definition, and intrinsic to the constancy of the world view of many people. Certain that the sun will come up tomorrow, many people also hold sex and gender to be equally absolute. The transsexual calls into question the absoluteness of a fundamental part of reality itself. For those with a weak grasp of reality, this becomes deeply disturbing. The world is not lacking for those with such a weak grasp.<br /><br /> Even so, even with the possible dangers, there comes a point where hiding, where cowering to avoid the expected disdain of nameless 'others' becomes unendurable. To achieve a solid self worth it sometimes becomes necessary to be open about that self, to simply refuse to be silenced any longer. In order to feel good about my self, I needed to claim the same freedom that most humans take for granted, the freedom to simply exist, as myself, openly.<br /><br /> Coming Out serves to break the circle of torment and self condemnation. It destroys the act of hiding behind lies, and with it the implication that such behavior is preferable to honesty. It is the supreme act of a person who refuses to be damned, and who stands up as an individual with the basic natural right to exist.<br /><br /> Coming Out is freedom from enslavement and oppression. It is not easy. It can have consequences. But it sometimes must be done, to stop internalized self loathing, to achieve self acceptance.<br /><br /> It is not always safe or prudent to Come Out in all circumstances. It is not always wise to be completely open. Sometimes the only rational thing to do is to be invisible, especially for the much maligned transsexual. No one should ever be forced to be Out, just as no one should be forced to hide. But sometimes, sometimes, just to know peace and contentment of self, it becomes useful and important to be Out.<br /><br /> The bottom line of Coming Out is to be alive in the world. Tracihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15915918035511447295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2791030534096467676.post-85364326853714162952015-04-05T15:26:00.000-07:002019-04-17T13:37:36.850-07:00My Story.[This post is directed at a person in the comment section of an article related to Indiana's Religious freedom bill. It's the first time I've really gotten everything down, but I felt it was important for me to do, for him. I wanted him to understand me. It started out as a short post in response, but grew from there. It became way too much for a comment thread, so here it is. Here's my story. ]<br />
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I've been reacting with the same aggression you've been using toward me, and it's wrong. Instead of reacting, I need to be responding with love, as Christ would. Let me tell you my story. <br />
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I knew at a very young age I should have been born with a female body. I could never put that into words, that concept at the time was not known to me. I was raised in a strict Christian environment, and having these thoughts were sinful, and the worst kind of wrong. At least that is what I heard in church. I internalized this sentiment, and it grew into a fierce hatred, most directed at myself. I prayed to God to make this go away. I prayed for that a lot. I couldn't be a girl, that was impossible, or so I thought. That hatred quickly over took me, and when I was ten I tried to kill myself for the first time, because I thought maybe I needed to do it myself, since God was not taking this away, or letting me die, I needed to do it on my own. So I tried to hang myself in my closet, but when I woke up later, the belt I used was hanging around my neck, and I was laying half in and half out of a box in my closet. I stayed there for most of my life, in that closet. Alone.<br />
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In my teens, I turned to booze and drugs. A lot of each. Nikki Six, a guitarist for Motley Crue overdosed a few times. At the height of my drug use, had he have known me, he would have told me to slow down and save some for him. It was that bad, but it kept me numb, which in turn kept me alive. <br />
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In my mid twenties, I think I was 24 or so I was at the end of my rope, again. I was tired of being strung out all the time, tired of trying so hard to "act like a man" and failing terribly, tired of dating other women trying to prove to myself that I could do it, essentially using them to try to "be a guy." They usually ended because I wouldn't have sex, the very idea of using that thing made me sick. So I was standing on an over pass one day, I was going to jump, the cars on the freeway below were going pretty fast, I figured it would be over pretty quick. I was finishing a cigarette when this uber preppy looking guy in this crappy red Nova pulled up. I mention these, because he looked so out of place in that car, it was kind of funny, like an 80 year old guy in a Corvette. His name is Bill. He's a great guy, I still consider him one of my best friends, even though we haven't spoken in years. We lost touch a long time ago, and I really have no idea how to find him. Anyway, he and his wife were driving on the freeway. He didn't even see me, but God knew I was there, and told Bill I was getting ready to jump, so Bill, and his wife Jayne (with that spelling, I'm telling you those two did <i>not</i> belong in that car haha) got off the freeway, and came to talk to me. I couldn't tell them why exactly I was going to jump, so I blamed it on the drugs, which was true, but not the whole truth. I wasn't ready to even admit it to myself. I knew that God wasn't going to let me kill myself, no matter what I tried to do, so that was my last attempt, I think. There were so many attempts really, it's hard to keep them straight chronologically, and the drugs kind of affected my memory, so that's kind of shot. I stayed with them for about a year or so, and got off drugs for awhile, but the pressure I was under was too much, so I relapsed. <br />
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I stayed drugged until I was 35 or 36, when I moved close to my Mom, she had uterine cancer, and I wanted to be close to her. God helped her beat it, she's doing really well now, we talk on the phone occasionally, but it's strained.When I was 38 I was tired of everything, life, trying to live up to everyone's expectations of me, and I begged God to take this from me or let me die. I knew that coming out would cause me to lose my family, which had been everything to me for as long as I could remember, I come from an incredibly tight knit family, we got together several times a year, we'd come from all over the country and gather at a state park, or Grandpa's house. I loved those reunions, and huge holiday dinners. Poker, football, food and beer, you know. I never got into drinking much, I hate hangovers, but most of my family members are drinkers. Socially, not drunks, you know. I didn't think I'd survive losing them. But something had to give.<br />
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I emailed a close friend, and came out to her, sort of to say good bye, I really wanted to die. I apologized for not being honest about who I really am inside, and for causing her pain. We were married about maybe 15 or 16 years before that. I may have been 24 or 25. It lasted a year. She's really the only person I've genuinely loved and trusted. Her name is Michelle. She wrote back about a week later, and told me that I was moving in with her and her family (Her husband, and boys), and she was going to help me come out and get through this. If I didn't come out, and live authentically, I didn't want to live at all. So I moved here, and got into therapy, and slowly started to come out.<br />
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I begged God for him to tell me his plan for me, and he's opened doors that I could never open on my own. Forgiving my Dad being one of those things. He was incredibly abusive when I was young. He used to beat me with a 2x4. I carried intense anger for him through most of my life, and one night I was on my bed smoking out my window (cigarettes...tobacco, not pot), and I just started sobbing, uncontrollably. I had no idea why. I honestly felt like my heart was breaking. I was in a panic because I had no idea where it was all coming from, I realized later after I calmed down that it was 40 years of pain leaving me. It was just gone. I know that God took it from me, it's the only rational explanation.<br />
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The hate and anger I carried with me through my life was gone, in that moment. God said I didn't need that anymore. So he took it from me. <br />
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I came out to my Mom a few months later, she told the rest of the family, and they all agreed that they didn't want me home over holidays, they didn't want to see me. As much as that hurt, God led me through it. That footsteps poem comes to mind. He really did carry me through it, literally. My friends also surrounded me and walked beside me too. Through that process, I slowly began to accept and respect myself, which turned into love. About maybe a year ago was the first time in my life I genuinely loved myself. Which in turn enabled me to love God more deeply, which of course deepened our relationship. He's guided me every step in the coming out and transitioning process. I know he is with me. When we talk, I feel him physically. I finally have the relationship with him, and Christ that I have always wanted. Growing up in the church, I had seen so many great people of faith, and I wanted what they had. I begged God for that, but until I was ready to be honest with myself, and live accordingly, my entire life would be a lie, and God can't move in a person's life, if they can't even be honest with themselves. <br />
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So that's where I am today, very much a woman, and very much a sold out Jesus Freak, and loving each new day that he gives me. The pain of living in a male body isn't lessened, but I know God is moving me toward healing, and I can be patient, and know that my healing will be complete on his schedule, and he's handling it, it's all more than I can handle on my own, so I just let him take care of that. I saw my Mom last year, for the first time in three years. She came to see me. My family still doesn't want to see me, and I know it was hard on Mom to see me, but she did it anyway. So I know God is healing that too. But that's probably going to take awhile. It's ok though. I can wait. If I can at least talk to Mom on the phone every couple weeks or so, I can live with that.<br />
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BIG FAT GEEK UPDATE. 6/29/2016<br />
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Two weeks ago, I went to church for the first time in lots of years. It was what I've needed for so long, MY PASTOR GETS IT!!! (mostly haha...more than enough). There are so many other people there who treat me normally. I'm in a women's study group, and they are so amazing. I still can't believe it's finally happening. This is what I've needed to move forward with not just my walk with Christ, but my whole life. Tracihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15915918035511447295noreply@blogger.com2